


A Single Word That Means You and Nobody Else

by Garnet_Sekai



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV Second Person, Pre-Canon, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 07:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8046775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garnet_Sekai/pseuds/Garnet_Sekai
Summary: Five times, Asriel Dreemurr tries to learn the name of the fallen child.
A fluffy joyful thought I had just in time for the big anniversary. Happy Undertale Day!





	A Single Word That Means You and Nobody Else

**Author's Note:**

> Additional warnings for general self-hatred and all the stuff we've come to love and expect from a stabby smol child who recently jumped into a big ol' hole in the ground. Minor graphic warning for the first scene too; I'm no 999 writer or anything but we're starting off from the human's first day in the Underground and they are Not in good shape physically. Also CW for discussion of deadnames and an instance or two of deadnaming.

At first, you're not really sure what the sound you heard was. You had been spending the day out, relaxing in the one opening where sunlight can make it into the Underground. The sun was shining, you thought you heard birds chirping, and then you realized it was your phone chirping merrily away to let you know your mom expected you back for lunch. You weren't really hungry yet, and the sunlight felt so nice on your fur, but your mom is kind of scary when she's upset with you and it probably isn't a good idea for the prince to go hanging around in the sunlight all the time now that your dad's trying to help everyone adjust to living underground? So you'd started down the passage, and that's when the sound hit your ears. It was somehow _wet_ and deep and heavy, like some giant had thrown a melon at a big rock. Or a big rock at a melon. That would probably make more sense for a giant to do, right?

The next sound you hear is unmistakable, and it puts a stop to your wondering about giants, because that sound is a voice, and that voice says a single word in the most pitiful, desperate tone you've ever heard, and that word is "Help". It might be followed by "me" or even "somebody", but by the time those words might have come out you're already running headlong back the way you came, and the sound of your paws on the ground easily overpowers anything else the voice might have said.

The cave is empty, at first glance, just as you'd left it. Other monsters don't really come here often; your dad told you they miss the sun so much that seeing this tiny glimpse just makes them feel worse.

(One day, you'll give them all the sun they want. You're not sure how - blowing up the mountain with your magic would be really cool, but your mother gently pointed out that the rocks might fall on everyone if you did that. You guess you'll just have to vaporize it or something so there's no rocks to fall, but that might take time. But you'll do it somehow.)

It's only after a minute or two that you hear a soft noise, and... you're not entirely sure what you're looking at. You've never seen a monster with that color of skin, or that (adorable, on reflection) patch of color under each eye. They're staring at you, blankly, and then you hear the slithering noise again and realize they're trying to move.

They're... leaking, you realize. Something strange and red that smells oddly like the human coins you play with sometimes if you squeeze them too long. It makes you uneasy just to look at it, and... you're pretty sure their bones aren't supposed to be sticking through their clothes like that. (They don't look like a skeleton, after all.) In fact, nothing about them looks right. When you meet their eyes again, they're wavering. Their mouth twitches into a thin smile, and they let out a whimper. That noise from before suddenly stops making you think of melons and giants.

You're moving almost before you realize it. "You've fallen down, haven't you?" Stupid. You should have realized the moment you heard someone say "help". Then you're gathering them as gently and carefully as you can. One arm is hanging useless, so you put them on the other side so they can get hold around your shoulder. "You're the one who called for help, right? D-don't worry, Mom's an amazing healer. You'll be safe as soon as we find her." You consider getting your phone and calling her, but their arm squeezes incredibly tightly around your neck and chest. You'd probably have to put them down if you wanted to call, so you'll just have to help them and let Mom know when you get there.

The journey through Home isn't too bad. You do have to set them down a few times to get the puzzles with the holes working - falling again is probably not good for them - but you manage. As you're nearing home, you turn, thinking. They're so badly hurt. You've seen monsters hurt from falling before, like the time you were playing chase with one of the dogs and they slipped off of the roof, but it's never been this bad. Even jumping off of the top of the pillars back in the cave shouldn't have hurt them this badly. But there's only one other place to fall from in that room, and that's...

"Hey," you whisper, softly, as you set them down at the base of the stairway. You want to carry them for this next part; their legs are ragged as well. "Are you... a human?"

They don't say anything. Their eyes are fixed on you, but they're clouded. You can hear how hard it is for them to breathe. You nod a little, and put your hand in theirs. "... once for yes?" you suggest.

Their hand twitches, just barely. This is probably not a good idea anyway. You gather them carefully in your arms, and they let out a gasp. "Don't worry," you assure them. "I'm pretty strong, you know. We're almost there, just relax."

Their eyes remain on you. They try to say something, but it comes out ragged, like they're trying to speak from underwater. It sounds like "why", but you don't understand. You don't think that's good either, and you quicken your pace. "Hey... what's your name?" you whisper, leaning close so that your long, furry ear can rest on top of their face. You think maybe that'll help you understand their words better.

Instead, they tug weakly on it with their free hand and bury their face in it. They're still and quiet after that, but... you understand, you really do, even if you also really want to know their name and if they're really a _human_. Doggone didn't really want to talk too much after he fell either, for a while. You'll just have to be patient, you guess.

Then you remember you're supposed to be getting them healed, and you start shouting for your mom as loud as you can and running as fast as your feet can carry you towards your home.

 

The human spends a lot longer than Doggone did not wanting to talk. It's a little frustrating, honestly, because they're absolutely fascinating! They have _skin_ instead of white fur like you have, and it's a bright beautiful color like gold and earth all at once (olive, your dad calls it) and with barely any hair. The reddish thing their cheeks do whenever they're startled or upset or you talk to them or they get to play with your or your parents' fur and ears (blushing, your mom says). The soft, feathery _hair_ that grows from the top of their head in a halo of warm reddish-brown. Everything about them is amazing. Humans are really neat, you've decided.

It's fascinating, too, just how long it takes them to recover. Your mom usually can fix up hurt monsters in a snap of her fingers (sometimes literally) and a rush of cool tingling magic. But the human... They're still in bed, even now. (Your bed; you insisted from the moment your mom said they needed to sleep that the human could take your bed. It's the princely thing to do.) Every so often they'll move in a way that makes them shout, and the red metal-smelling stuff (blood, it's apparently called) will start soaking into the bandages they wear. They're wearing one of your sleep shirts now, something long and shapeless and incredibly thin. It suits them, you think, as you look at them.

When they speak at last, it's well into the night. You're awake from the first sound of their voice, however. "What fresh insanity is this?"

You shoot up, peering anxiously over the side of your bed at them. "H-hey..."

Their eyes are such a piercing red. You can easily see their color even in the dim light of the room as they flick over to look at you. "You are..." Their eyes blink slowly. This close, you can see something like a deep shadow curling along the lower lid. "Am I still dreaming, then?"

You shake your head. "You're not dreaming. This is my house."

"Ah." Their voice is quiet, and you hang on every word. "I am... alive, then."

You nod quickly. "Yeah! I was kind of worried, but Mom was able to keep you from getting any worse. You're gonna be just fine."

Their hand is soft as it touches the end of your muzzle. "In truth, I had thought the story of the Barrier was just a euphemism. I thought the human army had simply massacred the monsters and made up a lie to pretend they had shown mercy." Their eyes seem to flicker. "I am not certain how I feel about the story being true."

You swallow. "Golly. That almost sounds like... you're not sure you're glad we're here."

"No, please do not mistake me." They sigh. "It is the idea of humans being capable of even a hollow mercy that... displeases me."

This is getting decidedly awkward. This human is kind of weird. Still, you're the prince, and you can't go _saying_ things like that! So instead, you change the subject. "Anyway, you're alive and safe now. This is my house. My name is Asriel! Prince Asriel Dreemurr." You hike your smile a little higher. "What's... your name?"

The human regards you curiously. "Why would you want or need to know that?" The chuckle that follows doesn't sound very happy. "You do not need to know the name of someone who will be gone soon."

You can feel yourself frowning already. Do they have that little faith? Your mom is the Queen, the best healer that monsters have ever known! They're going to be just fine, and they're going to live a long and healthy life right here with everyone else!

Instead, you say, "What if you won't be?"

The human sighs. "Another matter demands priority, Prince Asriel." They speak your title with prickly distaste, but... you think, somehow, that it's the word they don't like, not you. "If I accept that none of my experiences since I leapt into the fissure have been some form of hallucination caused by my nearly dying, then this is your bed I have been lying in for days. That cannot continue."

Your heart sinks a little at one thing in particular they say, but you leave it aside. "And why not? You need a bed a lot more than me."

"I will soon require nothing at all." Their smile is growing tighter. It's... kind of scary. "In any case, I cannot stand forcing you to sleep on the ground for the sake of someone like me. Please, move me elsewhere and take back your proper repose."

They're not making a lot of sense, and not only because they talk like they ate half of your mom's vocabulary books. Still... you're the prince. This human lives here, so they're your subject now, right? (Your dad's, technically, but whatever.) You're supposed to take care of your subjects and make sure they're happy.

Then you remember another of the virtues your mom's always encouraging you to stick to, and you nod. "Let's compromise, then." You lift them, as gently as you can, and with one foot you shove the covers down. The human blinks in surprise as you lay them gently beside the wall and then clamber up beside them. "We'll just have to share. Deal?" There. Diplomacy. Your mom would be so proud of you.

The human stares at you. "You are... very strange."

"No, I'm Asriel." They snicker, very slightly, at your weak attempt at a joke. Maybe Mom will have better luck, now that they're talking. "You... didn't tell me your name."

"No, I did not." They pause, and belatedly you realize they're pressing their bare feet (toes are another thing you find really, really neat about them) against your paws. "What is... this?"

You blink at that, even as you tug the blankets up and make sure they're not pressing down on the human or making them too hot. "My paw...?"

The human's eyes light up. "A moment, if you would, your Majesty. Please hold still." With slow but deliberate movements they vanish under the blankets entirely. You fight to keep still as you watch them moving further and further down.

It's not until you feel something _warm_ seize around one of the pads on your toes that you realize what they're up to, and by then it's too late. You hear a rough squeal of delight from under the blankets, and mentally you add hands to the list of things that fascinate you about humans. Their fingers are somehow soft and gentle at the same time they are hard and firm, and they press with such eager abandon at your paws that you can't keep decorum anymore. You burst into laughter and squirm about as well, the both of you laughing freely as they torment your poor paws with those nimble, slender fingers that somehow tickle and squeeze all at the same time.

The fun stops only when your flailing foot connects with something solid, and suddenly the human topples out of your bed entirely, tangled in your sheets. You stare for a moment, before gathering them up. Their eyes are unfocused, and they don't respond when you call out.

(You're going to get into so much trouble for this.)

The human isn't much heavier for the blankets you pick up with them as you get ready to carry them to your parents' room. As you reach the hall, though, their eyes suddenly move and focus on you. "Prince...?"

You shake your head. "You, um... I kinda kicked you by accident. I gotta get Mom to make sure you're not hurt."

They put a hand to one of their eyes, wincing. "What does it matter? Hurting me more gets me closer to dying faster."

You stop in your tracks, and stare at them. "I don't want you to die, though. Or disappear." You smile weakly. "So... tell me your name?"

They turn from you, staring into the hall mirror beside you. "It's us," they muse. You do make a funny pair, you with your white fur and your muzzle and long ears, and them with their warm, golden skin and their blushing cheeks and their red, peering eye. You hold them a little closer, draped in your arms, and smile as best you can.

The human ducks their head. "... Take me to your mother," they say. "As for your question... I will consider it."

(She's mad, but not especially so. She tells you it's because you didn't try to hide what you did and put the human's well-being first, but privately you think it's because she's happy the human is finally talking.)

 

For some reason, the human seems to heal faster after that. You keep sharing your bed the next night, and they don't object. Sometimes you wake up to find they've grabbed on to you in their sleep, and you usually keep as still as you can when that happens. They seem to wake up so easily, even from you moving away just a little bit or trying to pry their arms off of you. Those deep circles that seem to cradle their eyes are slowly starting to fade, since they started living here, and you don't want them to come back. Mom's told you that they're caused by not sleeping soundly.

One morning, though, they're awake already when you open your eyes, even though they're holding on to you. "Good morning," they say, their red eyes playful. "I think I feel well enough to try walking, if your mother deems it an acceptable risk."

"Do you want me to go ask her?" You don't want to, honestly. There's something deeply _nice_ about the human holding on to you like this. You've seen how they flinch away when your dad tries to rub their back, or even from Mom's touch when she heals them, but with you...

Their response breaks up your thoughts. "Not really. I can wait for her to come in." They smile, very slightly. "But feel free to get up whenever you wish."

You try to make a big show of _not_ getting up, but you're not really sure how. The human gives that quiet chuckle of theirs again. "Very well. I certainly have no complaints about our situation."

Holding them like this, you feel almost like you _have_ to ask again. But before you can open your mouth, they prod your nose. "I told you I would consider it, your Majesty."

Their eyes are twinkling when you look. "I told you you don't have to call me that," you counter, because really how else are you supposed to respond? Do humans have mind-reading powers now? You vaguely remember a dirty old comic you found once with a human who could do that. "But, I mean, what's to think about? You're not still on about disappearing, right?"

Their chuckle lasts longer this time. "That is not something I will cease considering any time soon, Prince. But it is no longer foremost, I admit."

You want to squish them, a little bit, to play with their cheeks and pinch their nose and tug on their ears, like they do to you freely. But they're still hurt, so you settle for grumbling a little. "Then what's the problem? It's so awkward not having anything to call you..."

They sigh a little at that. "Because I am unsure I want you calling me anything. For the time being, I am less averse to existing. But being around you..." They shake their head. "How can I, in good conscience? You are all good people, here, I know that. Because of that, I should not be here. A person like me does not _belong_ with people like you."

Now you really want to play with them, make them stop talking like this. It doesn't make any sense, and you don't like it, and anyway how can they not belong with you if you're supposed to be taking care of them? Besides, if they don't stay, where would they even go? It's even more imperative now that you not do that, though; this time, instead you say, "But I like having you around. I want to stay near you."

They laugh again, and their smile somehow gets even thinner than before. "You poor, dear, kind fool," they whisper, trembling. Their arms never once let go of their grip. "You have invited a demon into your home, into your life, Prince. You will regret this. My mere presence will make you all suffer."

"That's dumb." The words topple out of your mouth before you can remind yourself to be princely. "I've seen demons in comic books. They're supposed to be huge and scary and they have big long tails and pointy horns. I'm the one with horns here!"

That gets a genuine snicker out of them. " _What_ horns, Prince?"

You can't really argue, exactly. Your horns haven't come in yet, and whenever you start grumbling about it, your mom points out that it's totally normal even if they don't start coming in for another two or three years. Still, you motion to your head, and when they touch your skull, you press lightly on their hands. "They just haven't grown enough to poke out of my fur," you insist, and it's technically true anyway. It's not like the human knows enough to know they don't exist at _all_ yet.

They smirk anyway, and even though they're being kind of mean it's a lot better than that smile. "I feel not a single thing, Prince. Are you certain you are not some strange new sub-species of hornless goatboy?"

You come up with about fifteen replies within two seconds. As a result, you don't actually say anything. Instead you press your head a little more firmly, until the human's hands move down to play with your ears instead. "I do appreciate your kindness," they say, as if commenting on the weather. "You genuinely are good. Rest assured if you were not, I would spend my days plotting out how long I could stretch your patience before fleeing with all I could carry."

Their fingers are strangely careful with your ears. "I don't get why you would need to go."

The human's voice is quiet. "When you hurt me, you were genuinely sorry. You cared for me. You showed actual guilt." They sigh. "I do not want to bring harm to you, after that."

They're making even less sense than usual. "Why wouldn't I? You were just playing with my paws, and I knocked you right on your head. Mom told me about how much I ended up hurting you."

Their eyes are half-lidded when they look at you, cheery red peering from under a curtain. "You really are strange."

"Why?" you demand. You _really_ want to squash those reddish cheeks of theirs now.

The human's face breaks into that smile again. "Thinking that sort of thing common, and _right_. You are, I believe, the first person to apologize for hurting me and actually mean it."

You can feel the beat of your soul slowing down. They can't mean that. "You can't mean that," you hear yourself saying, but you feel very small and far away from the voice that's supposedly yours.

The human thinks. "They told me they were sorry, the first few times. That they were not supposed to act that way, that they had lost their temper. After a while, I suppose they simply grew sick of pretending. The rest never even bothered."

You find yourself imagining what fire magic would do to a human if you surrounded them with it. Eventually, however, you realize that the actual, real human in your bed is laughing again. Moving slowly, you wind your arms around them, letting them adjust to your hold. With a totally dramatic and stylish twist of your head, you send one of your ears flipping up so that it lands over their face.

You can feel them nibble at your fur, a little bit. You don't really like it, but you'll allow it for now. "Hey... is all of this also why you won't call me Asriel?"

Under your ear, they sigh. "I should not be here. How can I go on knowing just how good the people I am going to ruin are?"

You sigh. This human really is hard to take care of. "You know... you kinda sound like Dad does sometimes."

You can't see it under your ear, but you're pretty sure they're raising their eyebrow. "Your father?"

You catch yourself just in time to keep from nodding. "Yup," you say, kind of proud, because your dad is kind of a really great guy. "My dad's the ruler of the whole kingdom, you know? King Asgore Dreemurr. You sound kinda like how he does when he's talking about... y'know. Important... kingdom stuff."

"Do go on." They're amused, at least. They're not laughing anymore.

You shrug. "When he talks to me about the kingdom, and how I'm gonna be the king someday, he's always talking about the people. How I've gotta do right by them, even if I've gotta do stuff that I don't want to. Even if they need me to do something awful, or painful." You're trying to sound reassuring, but... it's a little scary, honestly. "You... sound kinda like him, talking about how you have to do something like that for us."

Their voice is quiet now. Thankfully, your ear is literally right next to their mouth. "Do I really... resemble him that much?"

You hold them just a little more closely. "Didn't you just say you think you need to leave, even though you don't want to?" Maybe you're projecting a little. You definitely don't want them going anywhere, but maybe the human really doesn't want to be here? "Gosh, for someone who says they don't belong around the royal family, you're acting pretty royal."

Their arms suddenly fasten tight around you. "Asriel." Their voice is even quieter now; you have to close your eyes and strain your ears to hear them. "I... want to stay. I do. But surely I do not belong here? Surely someone as awful as me belongs far away, where I cannot hurt someone as good as you?"

They said your name. You've got them convinced. But it wouldn't hurt to make them a little less nervous. "Golly. You keep saying you're bad, but wouldn't a bad person just stay with us and not care what happens? You sound an awful lot like a good person to me..."

Their arms release you, and their voice hisses. "Please. Don't tease me, Asriel." They bury their face in your ear, and you can feel them trembling against you. "I... I am feeling somewhat stifled. Please let go of me."

You wait, a little. It's only when they repeat their demand that you obey, because, well... you like being around this human. You like holding them, being allowed to touch them when even their healer makes them flinch away. But you also don't want to make them mad. They might stop wanting you to touch them, if you did, and that would really be the worst.

"Asriel," they say, and you snap to attention. "I want to try walking, and changing into something besides your nightshirts. Would you bring Miss Toriel for me, please?"

You already pushed it holding them after they said to let go, so you pull back. When your ear slips off of their face, they're smiling again. But... you think it might be different, this time.

(It's not until the human leaves your room, standing on their own and wearing the clothes they had the day you found them, that you remember you never did get their name.)

 

When the human is finally well enough, you start taking them on walks to help build up their strength again. They stay close against your side when you go out, fingers laced in yours when you're not carrying them. You know it's probably just because they'd be actually lost if you got separated, but you like to imagine them leaning on you for support, for strength.

They know, somehow. They always seem to know what you're thinking. You're starting to be convinced they're actually a mind reader, even though your mom has told you several times by now that humans do not possess that sort of power, even the ones who can use magic. But however they do it, they keep doing it, and they take any opportunity to tease you about it. You're seriously considering having something _really embarrassing_ happen to the God of Hyperdeath's human friend in the next installment, because it's getting kind of ridiculous how much this human likes to tease a literal prince?

They still haven't told you their name. They haven't told anyone else either, at least.

Eventually, they're strong enough to reach the beginning of the Underground with you. Sitting there, surrounded by ancient pillars with the sun shining on your faces, it seems like the perfect moment.

You turn to them, and they squeeze your hand. "Please, human, will you not tell me your name?" they intone, and you splutter.

"I really wanna know!" It's all you can think to say, and they let out that quick, playful snicker that's so much better than how they usually laugh. "I want to be able to call out your name instead of just having to say 'Human' all the time!"

They're smiling, that strange barely-there smile of theirs that seems to be the only real smile they ever show. "I know that. Partially, I am enjoying dangling that over your head." They give your hand another squeeze. "I have made up my mind to stay, Asriel, so there is but one reason now for me to hesitate."

You groan. "What reason could there be left?"

They lean in close, and you immediately turn so they can duck under your ear and settle close against you. "In truth, Asriel, I have two names. I cannot tell you my name, because I do not know which name to tell you."

You consider. You've never heard of a person having two different names before. "Can't you just tell me both? I mean, I'll use whichever one you feel like, but..."

Their voice tickles softly at your ear when they speak. "It isn't that simple, Asriel. Please, just accept that it is not an easy choice, and I can't tell you until I make it."

It really doesn't make sense, but they're shaking. You want to put your arms around them, but you know by now that even you're not allowed to just _touch_ the human. So instead, you hold out your hand and curl your arm around behind it. You'll have to wait until they peek out and give you permission. "It's really okay to just ask me to use the name you want."

"That will not do." They shift a little, and take your wrist so they can pull your arm against them. Your other follows almost before they have time to prepare themself, and you can feel them tense for a few seconds before relaxing into your arms. "I have to be certain. This is not only about wants."

You somehow get it even less than before. A name is a word that means someone. This human's name means _them_. There can't be two words that mean the same person. Why can't they just tell you the only word that means them? Hopefully, you think, your mom will be home when you get back. She'll probably know exactly what this weird kinda mean human who supposedly has two names is talking about, and she can probably help them decide too.

In the meantime, though, the sunlight is gorgeous today and the human is warm and relaxed in your arms and you honestly feel like you don't want to talk any longer anyway. Still, you probably shouldn't say _nothing_ in response to what the human just told you, so: "Will you tell me when you decide?"

The human nods, seizing a few strands of fur between their teeth. "You'll be the first I tell."

They're using the tone of voice they only use when they mean _I promise_. For some reason, you don't think you've ever heard them actually say that.

A while of quiet later, you're distracted from idle thoughts of what the God of Hyperdeath should go hyperkill next, possibly to avenge their human friend getting tripped into a muddy ditch, by the sound of your human's voice. They're not saying anything you can understand, though. In fact, it doesn't... really sound like talking. The words flow together instead of being separate, and their voice is going higher and lower, and sometimes they hold out a syllable and _oh my god they're singing???_

You can't move. You can't risk moving, and you don't think you're actually able to move anyway. The human is singing, soft and quiet and beautiful, and even if you have no idea what the words they're singing are, you don't need to know to love every note.

You have no idea how long you've been there. You're not even sure if the reason the sun's no longer over you both is because of clouds or because you've just been there _that long_ , but you suppose even the human can't sing forever. When they stop, they gently slip out from under your ear. You collapse onto your back, and they settle on top of you, their weight squashing you in just the right way. "I... I had no idea you could..." you stammer out.

They give you a fierce, triumphant grin. "Did I not tell you? You will be the first to know anything that I may decide to reveal about myself."

"What... um, what were those words?" You can't help but ask, really, considering they practically offered.

They play idly with their bangs. "Humans have many languages, Asriel. I consider that of my birthplace one of the few good things to keep." They pause, and their red eyes dance joyfully. "Or perhaps I'm secretly an even bigger nerd than you, and I just made up a language to sing for you in. Perhaps you won't know for a while."

Their hand presses on your muzzle ("booping the snootle", they insist on calling it, because the human is very insistent on being embarrassing and weird) for a long moment, and then suddenly they're off and running, and you have to hurry to catch up so they can go back to holding on to you.

(When you get home, it's your dad who's there. Mom is off handling some kind of argument. When you bring up how the human said they have two names, he gets that funny face he makes when he talks about kingly things, and he tells you that sometimes a human rejects their name. Sometimes a human's parents are careless, or even cruel, when they decide on their name. There's some dumb human law that says that officially, their old name has to still count as their name, but a lot of humans will try to insist on using a name they choose for themself instead.)

(He also tells you very firmly not to press the human about it. If they're considering which name to tell you, they must have a reason. You don't get it. Dad even said that using their old name would make someone very upset. Why does the human think they need to even think about using a name like that? Humans are so weird.)

(Not that you mind putting up with them being mean and weird and kind of nosy and probably actually secretly reading your mind. They are allowed to do that, by top umbra secret princely decree.)

 

It's a strange feeling, living with someone who won't tell you their name. The human has given up any pretense of sleeping anywhere but in your bed, sharing with you, and they still cling close to your side when the two of you go outside. Instead of wearing their old clothes for days at a time until Mom makes them change into a sleep shirt so she can wash them, they've taken almost all of the time to borrowing clothes from your closet. (You're only a few inches taller, barely enough for them to curl up against you and rest their head beneath your chin, so there's not much of an issue of size.) They even sing for you, sometimes, if you spend about an hour ensuring there is absolutely no chance they'll be overheard.

They trust you, you think. They've let you become their protector like you wanted. But... you still don't know their name. Whatever hangup they have, they still must not have gotten over it.

Honestly, it's kind of annoying, now. But princes aren't supposed to be annoyed, so you pretend everything's fine even though your best friend won't tell you their own name.

You're honestly sort of glad when an excuse to bring up names again shows up. It's about time Dad made this announcement, too; it's finally a chance to help the human feel more included and see that they belong, and maybe monsters will finally be able to stop talking like this is it, like the capital is their entire world and always will be from now on.

(One of these days you are seriously going to just vaporize this mountain. And the stupid Barrier with it. Hopefully the human's old parents will be hiking up there when you do.)

When you find the human, they're curled up in your mom's armchair. There's enough room to squeeze in beside them, but you drape yourself over the arm instead to get a better look at what they're doing. Their hands are moving, and they're each holding one of the dull needles your mom had someone make for them. You're still not really sure it's a good idea to give them something even kind of sharp, but you don't see any bandages on their hands. The needles are tangled up in colorful yarn, and the human's soft red eyes are focused on the motions of the needles, tongue poking out of the corner of their mouth slightly in (frankly cute) concentration.

"It's rude to stare, Asriel," they say after a moment, though their hands keep moving as if they weren't speaking at all. "And what if I were making something for you as a surprise? You would be ruining it right now."

"Are you?" You pull one of your ears over your eyes quickly.

"... no." You can tell even before you look that they're grinning at you. "If I were, I would not be working on it out in the open, in broad daylight. Also, I would be using very different colors."

You take a moment to look. It's true, whatever they're making is some kind of light purple. It reminds you of your mom's robes, but those are a lot darker than this. Your stuff is all green and yellow and striped (all kids wear stripes, even if the human's village never seemed to get that memo), and considering how often they borrow it, the human definitely knows it by now.

"So, then." They're still busily working away, whatever it is. "You needed something?"

You nod. Really, you're not even surprised. "So, Dad's getting ready to make a big grand announcement."

They glance at you, and roll those gleaming red eyes of theirs. "I have noticed, yes."

You kick yourself mentally. It was kind of obvious. You and the human even almost walked in on him rehearsing his speech yesterday. "Well, anyway! You're a big part of it, too."

"Ah. Deciding at last who gets this?" They pat their chest softly. "Please tell me you've rigged whatever method it is so you get it. I will be ever so cross if someone besides you claims my soul."

They're grinning, still, so you're... pretty sure it's just one of their weird jokes. You don't really get why they do that, but you doubt they actually think Dad plans to raffle off their soul. Even so. "Actually, we want to introduce you to everybody."

Their needles stop moving when you say that. "Introduce... me? Why?"

You consider how to explain this. It's kind of complicated for you to get, too. "Nobody's really felt good since the Barrier was made. We're all kind of stuck down here, and almost everyone's living in Home still, even though there's a lot more space outside the capital." You pause, thinking again. "There's a cave that leads to the Barrier from the human side, where everyone had to come in when the war ended. Some monsters keep spreading rumors that one day, the humans are going to come in through there and finish the rest of us off." It's dumb. There's no reason for humans to do that, and humans and monsters should both know that. But for some reason...

You can hear the human's needles again. For a moment, you wonder if they've started again, but then you realize they're shaking. Their mouth is stretched tight, and their eyes are wide, wide, wide. "I know. Have I not told you time and again how awful humans are?"

You shake your head, quickly. "No, that's not it! You're exactly who we need to show them that they're wrong! You're here, and you don't want to hurt any of us, and you're happy living here with us." You pause. "... Aren't you?"

"The happiest I have been, at least." Their eyes are dull, even though they're saying something like that. "So you want to introduce me to everyone... because you think that will make them not afraid anymore?"

You nod. "The whole Underground should be full of life. But everyone's scared. You can change that!" You hold out your hands to clasp theirs, though you remember to wait until they nod first. "You can make everyone hopeful again. That's... really important, you know. Monsters can't live without hope..."

You can't keep going. How could you? The human's smile has widened so far their mouth is actually open, their lips tucked tight over their teeth. It's like someone cut out a big black moon from their face. Their eyes are wider than you've ever seen them before, and they're laughing softly with every breath they take. "U-um... are you okay?" It's... kind of cool, you decide privately, but you don't like thinking about why they're making that face.

They duck their head, until you can't see any of their face behind their hair or their yarn. "I... I see. Of course, if that is the case." They're shaking even more now, and they tug their hands out of your grasp. "The hope that you all need."

"The... the hope of humans and monsters." The words feel hollow even though that really is what this human is, for everyone. Why are they being like this? Hope is a good thing to be! They're someone important and helpful and _good_!

The human leans close, and whispers in your ear softly. They don't tuck it over their face this time.

You straighten up, your soul feeling somehow tiny and ugly in your chest. "Protea? That's... a nice name." You mean that, too. You like the way it sounds, and you remember kind of vaguely from your mom teaching you about word roots that it has something to do with something that's first, or the beginning of something, or... something like that.

But the way their breath hitches, the way their creepy (still kinda cool) smile spreads... you know exactly which name the human just gave you. Privately, you resolve to never, ever use it unless you absolutely are forced to.

(You know better than to try again. When you see your father later, you tell him about what happened. He looks sad, but he tells you that it's their choice which name they want to tell you, and if they want to be introduced by that name, you have to respect that.)

(You won't. You're not going to accept this. You're the prince, and you're their best friend, and you'll figure out something.)

 

It's the day of the announcement. You still haven't thought of anything.

The human is sitting beside you, picking at their sleeves idly. They haven't let you touch them at all today, and it's driving you a little crazy. You look over at them, and they turn to you. They smile, blush coloring their olive cheeks, and draw their hands gently into their sleeves.

Their eyes are like colored glass. The darkness cradling their lower eyelids is back. That smile is the thinnest you've ever seen it. They look like a doll. You hate this. _They_ hate this. You're not even projecting this time, you know without a doubt that the human _hates_ this more than anything.

Slowly, you move in front of them. "It's not too late. Come on. Tell me your name."

They laugh, a soft, perfect little noise. You look down at their clothes. They told Mom they wanted to be dressed properly for this, like the rest of you. They're wearing a long, sleeveless robe in the same deep violet your parents wear, and a pale yellow shirt underneath with sleeves that cover past their wrists. The whole thing is cinched lightly at their waist with a simple cloth belt in green, and their chest is emblazoned with the Delta Rune. It's the crest of your family, and it would make your heart soar to see them wearing it if you thought for a second that they believed anything that wearing that symbol should mean.

They seemed so enchanted, so fascinated, when you'd taken them down to the tailor's and they had seen them at work making and spinning thread out of magic to weave their new clothes. Now, they keep picking at them like even wearing them is painful.

"You are so very insistent, Prince." You _hate_ it when they start calling you that now. "I have told you my name. Must I say it again?"

"Don't." Your voice is sharper than you mean it, but you can't help it. "You're the one who told me you have two names. It's okay to use the right one!"

"The right one?" They give that laugh again. "But what could be more proper than what I have told you? This is a grand, boisterous, hopeful occasion. I am to be shown off to all monsterkind, a symbol of hope, to spur on the grand expansion of the kingdom your father has called for. How could I possibly spoil this with a pitiful name conceived by a selfish, worthless child?"

"Shown off?" Of all the words they said, those are the ones that stick with you. Mostly because most of the other ones are the sort you see on your vocabulary tests. The ones your mother writes _someday you will be capable of this and much more, my child_ on. "Is that what the problem is?"

They tilt their head. "Problem? Whatever do you mean, my prince?"

Okay, you kind of have to take a second after they call you _my prince_ like that, but you soldier on. "We don't want to wave you around like you're not even a person. If you're not comfortable like this, then you don't have to go out there. I can just tell my dad, and he can just... tell everyone that you're here, and happy."

They stare at you, and for once it seems like they don't have any words. "How... absurd."

You snort. "You look like a _doll_. Is that what you think we want from you?"

"Of course." The answer comes almost before you're done asking. "I am as you said. Hope for monsterkind. A symbol of peace. The proof that your people need not be afraid anymore."

" _Our_ people," you counter. "This is your home now too. You live here. Just say the word, and I'll tell my dad you're not up for this and that he's gotta just tell them about you instead of introducing you to everyone."

They're starting to shake. You hold out your hands, and they squeeze them so tightly that you're honestly worried you're going to lose some fingers. "Don't fuck with me, Asriel," they suddenly hiss out. "I... why? Why are you so determined?"

You squeeze their hands back, and they stop talking. Even though they're shaking, their eyes look so much more vibrant, like this. You think about it. You want to be able to call their name without hurting them every single time you say it. You want to be able to whisper it to them when they're sick, or when they wake up in the middle of the night, and calm them down. You want to be able to call out their name when you're lonely or hurt, and for them to know you need them every time you do.

You realize you're actually _saying all of this out loud_ , and the human is blushing more beautifully than you've ever seen them, and their eyes are sparkling at you like two gemstones in the sunlight. You clear your throat. "The name those people gave you is a fake one. It doesn't _mean_ anything. It definitely doesn't mean my best friend. I want to know the name that means _you_ , because that's the name that's gonna make you happy to hear."

They're making a weird croaking noise now, but they're not saying anything, so you plunge on. "Please, you've got to tell me. I don't want you to live in a kingdom where everyone calls you a name that makes you sad or makes you think of everyone who hurt you. They're _evil_."

"I... I have to be..." They shake their head, little drops of water landing on your fur. "Asriel, you said I was your hope. That I was everyone's hope. I have to do this for you all. Don't you see? Can't you allow me to do even this?"

"No." You take a step closer. "I could never ask that of you."

They shake their head again. "I have to go out there. I have to be _presentable_ , so they can see Protea, the symbol they need, the hope of humans and monsters. If I show them who I really am, everything you've done for me will be _wasted_."

You... want to scream at them, actually. You do squeeze their hands probably harder than you should. "We didn't do all that just to make you _have_ to be anything, though! You're not a 'symbol' or anything like that. Don't you get it?" You draw close, pressing your muzzle against their chin, and they bury their face against you, lodging their nose in the hollow between your eyes. "You're 'hope' because you're here. You're hope because you're _alive_. Just you being here, living with us, being _happy_ , is enough. You don't have to be anything but yourself, because just _living_ is enough for you to make everyone around you hopeful. So, it's okay. I'll tell Dad, and we can just go home."

They're crying openly now. All you can see is their eyes, bright and trembling and dripping with tears. You can see just how dark the shadow under their eyes is. "You... idiot. I have to do this. I have to be... _noble_. Otherwise they'll understand what I really am." You can feel them breathing, they're so close, deep and shuddering. "I am the worst of humans, Asriel."

You just smile at that. "If you're really the worst human there is, then we really don't have to be afraid anymore. C'mon. Let's go home, and you can get out of that stuff since it's making you upset..."

They draw in a breath. "I don't understand. What do you _want_ from me? All of this... is not this what you, what Asgore, what everyone needs me to be?"

"We just need you to be you." You press just a little closer. "Right now, all we want from you is for you to be happy. And I... I want to know your true name, not your fake one."

"My... true name." Their arms are around you, and they squeeze you tightly. "Shall we... do this properly, then? If you wish to insist our previous introduction was a falsehood."

You need a minute to figure out what they just asked. Then you nod. "As far as I'm concerned, you've never introduced yourself to me."

They laugh at that. It's rough, and it almost sounds mean, but it's _their_ laugh. They step back, still holding your hands tight, and they gaze into your eyes. With a quick motion, they let go of you and pull their hands against their chest, and then draw them away.

You can't see sunsets down here. The hole that the human came in from is on the wrong side of Mount Ebott; when it's setting, the sun is on the other side and you can't see it anymore. But you've seen the sunrise, once or twice. It's beautiful, a bright, cheerful red that you like to think is a promise that today is going to be great.

The red that illuminates the little tent is different. It's deeper, somehow, and at the same time it seems stronger in your eyes, more beautiful. The night to come won't be so awful, this vibrant red tells you, and you believe it without question. You're certain, somehow, that this light is the sunset.

"Greetings," the human says after a moment, as their tear-filled eyes gaze at the bright red soul that nestles, heart-shaped, in their hands. "I am Chara."

"Chara," you say, trying it out. Instantly, you're smiling. It fits them so much more perfectly than their false name ever did. "That's a nicer name." You mean it, too.

They smile, weakly, even though their eyes are still streaming. "I chose it myself. It is the name of a star, the companion to Cor Caroli."

You nod at that. "And now it's your name, too. Chara Dreemurr." You smile, trying out the sound of it, and then you hear a noise and focus on Chara again.

You've... never seen someone laugh and cry at the same time before. But that's what's happening now. Grasping for something to do, you repeat their motion, and suddenly a warm white light is mingling with the red of Chara's soul, as your own soul floats free in your palms. "My name is Asriel Dreemurr," you offer.

They take a step closer, their eyes focused on the white heart that hovers upside-down in your hands. "Why... did you call me that name?"

You tilt your head. "Don't you live with us now? Aren't you part of our family?"

They lower their head until their hair falls forward, hiding their eyes from you. "I am... not certain I am ready to accept something so... meaningful, Asriel."

You nod. "Then... I'll just call you Chara, until you _are_ ready."

Their breath hitches when you say their name, and even under the curtain of their hair, you can see them smile again.

You honestly kind of want to just stand there for a very long time with Chara, in the light of your souls. But you can hear your dad winding up.

"We have lived in fear for a long time, everyone. But I can finally tell you all that we don't need to be afraid anymore. There is someone I would like you all to meet."

You hastily tuck your soul away. "Chara, we've gotta tell Dad, fast, before he tells everyone your fake name..."

They nod, gazing at their soul, standing still. "Please."

You bolt out of the tent and nearly trip into your mom. She catches you gently, and you whisper urgently to her. She smiles at you, and ruffles your ears. "You have done very well, my child," she whispers back. "Take care of your friend, will you not? I will ensure Asgore knows."

Even as you take Chara by the hand and lead them back towards your home, you can hear her. "I do hate to interrupt, but I am afraid there is something I must inform you of posthaste, Fluffybuns." You let out a groan. How can the _king and queen_ of everyone you know be so embarrassing?

"Pick out whatever makes you feel comfortable," you tell Chara, when you both reach your room. "You don't have to be super-formal, I just... like looking really cool."

They raise an eyebrow, looking over at your own deep blue tunic and the red sash around your waist. Or maybe they're eyeing your totally impressive and imposing black cape (with wide shoulder pads and sparkling silver stars on the inside). "You don't like this?" they finally offer, indicating their own clothing.

You shake your head. "I think it looks great! But there's no point if you're uncomfortable." Honestly, you kinda wish they'd keep wearing it. They look amazing in it, and they match you really well, and you'd been looking forward to standing at Chara's side on the balcony, both of you in royal finery. You... kinda did want to show off, a little. But if Chara doesn't want to show off too, it won't be fun.

"Ah. So, monsters are like Narnians, then." You have no idea what they mean, but you smile anyway. They slip inside your room, and a while later they emerge in one of your sweaters: an old green turtleneck with a single yellow stripe that's a little bit small on you (so it's perfect on Chara). They're wearing the same brown pants they had when you found them (jeans, they called them; apparently they're made of some weird human cloth called denim), and they hold out their hand expectantly.

You take it, and they press something soft and purple into your palm. "I lied," they say conversationally. "This was for you."

It's... the thing they were knitting, the day they told you their fake name. It's soft under your fingers, and you're too busy feeling it to notice them reach up to lift the circlet from your head. "Put it on, I want to see if I guessed right."

The knitted band is soft against your fur, and just barely the right size to be snug around your head. When Chara sets your circlet back on, you can barely feel that the stupid heavy pinchy thing is even _there_. They smile, and you notice they're wearing their own still, a soft silver to your gold and with small horn-shapes to match your own. You tap it with a claw gently.

Chara considers, and then slips it off. "Actually _belonging_ somewhere is... a new feeling," they admit. "I will need time to adjust."

You nod, and take their hand. "You'll have plenty, I promise."

"Those clothes... set them aside, please?" They shift. "I do like them, but..."

You nod, and they smile and let you lead them back out to where your dad is getting ready to wrap up his speech. Chara takes the lead, and moves up next to him to tug on his cape.

Dad looks back with a broad smile. "Oh! Hello, Chara. Do you want to introduce yourself to everyone after all?"

Chara's face is set as they nod, and they stride forward to rest their hands on the edge of the parapet. You move beside them, and look over. The monsters below look happy, at least. Chara takes a breath, and clears their throat.

Before they can start speaking, Mom is suddenly there. She leans over and gently presses something down on Chara's head, and they reach up to feel the soft flowers of the wreath with wonder. "I hope this will suit you better, my child," you hear her whisper to them.

Chara looks like they're about to cry. You hold out your hand, and they take your whole arm, clinging tightly to it as they gaze out. Dad draws up beside them, smiling down at the human child beside him. Chara takes another long breath, squeezing your arm close. "I... apologize for being so emotional," they say at last, addressing the crowd. "I am... not used to such kindness, or to being offered a place as dear to my heart as the one these wonderful people have made for me." They bow their head. "Certainly, when I fell into a hole in the mountain, I did not expect to find such a..." They pause, and make eye contact with your mom, and wink. "Such a _royal_ welcome," they finish.

You suddenly feel slightly less sure this was a good idea. Your dad glances over and gives you a weary smile. Chara chuckles softly, and leans a little further out. "I am sure that Asgore has been entertaining you all for a while now, so I will be brief." For a moment, you're a little jealous. That bright smile of theirs is something that part of you wants to be yours and yours alone. But when you see Chara showing it to everyone below, it's hard to be anything but happy for them. "It is wonderful to meet you all," they call, their voice clear and determined. "My name... my _true_ name, is Chara."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Main stuff to note here...  
> Regarding deadnames, I had A Thought recently. Frisk is Frisk, and Chara is "the true name". So then, what does that make the name we give when told to "name the fallen child"? In part, I suppose this is my answer; Protea is the name I chose the first (and so far only) time I was prompted. Asriel is more or less correct in what he says about it, it comes from word roots that more or less equate to "first", "beginning", etc.  
> In case of [reference insecure], Chara talking about Narnia is because at a few places in the books it outright mentions that in Narnia, your best clothes are also your most comfortable ones. (Chara is legitimately fond of their "regal" look but they have Reasons they are uncomfortable about it, plus the ensemble feels kinda like a dress to them which for other Reasons makes them kinda prickly.)  
> I was originally planning on getting this out earlier, but I decided to give it a few more revision run-throughs and also to test the efficacy of the weapons-grade fluffanium on a friend or two. Also, work is a thing I have to do. Oh well, still in time for the big day. It's been one hell of a year. (Slightly less for me, technically; Undertale flew under my radar for a while before one of my friends bought it for me and shoved it at me on Steam and went "omg play this it's -perfect- for you" but.) Obviously huge thanks go to the omnibenevolent Toby Dog for making such an amazing world for us to play and write and dream in, and for leaving so much negative space for us all to explore and develop each our own thoughts in. Huge thanks also have to go to Feral and Simply and Valety and everyone else in that circle; they are all amazing writers and a very real and large part of me ever getting to really understand Chara. I'd only seen -video- of the genocide run (let's face it, I can't even consider -trying- to hurt goatmom) and it never really fully stuck with me that the being that appeared to frighten and chastise the player was supposed to be the same person as the child who had lived with Asriel back then. I pretty easily wound up taking them at face value, or at best thinking of them as Toby making some sort of meta-construct to deconstruct basic RPG values and tactics. It wasn't until a friend prodded me in that direction and I started reading about all these theories and stories and discoveries and connections hidden deep within the game and started really understanding just who Chara is. (It probably didn't help I'm the sort of person who never quite connected things like "three out of four gray rocks" or "the prince of this world's future" until watching someone else play through the game.) And, on that note, a huge nod to my friends in the fandom, in large part for putting up with my incessant craving for reactions and beta reading, and segfaultvicta in particular, who bought the game for me in the first place (and got me to get off my ass and play it) and who was my primary point of contact for discovering the Soft Chara Squad.  
> It's been a whole year now. We've seen some amazing things. Here's to another year of even more.


End file.
